Saturday, November 16, 2013

Monday, October 21, 2013

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s4Zmzgp-0s&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Saturday, August 31, 2013

The Queen of Kings

If Saturn be The Father then Jupiter be The Mother. We all know what happens when they come together.
The violent ecstatic merger where from chaos emerges order. And what was hidden is brought forth. Now on to the task of cleaning up the remnants and caring for the newly born.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Its Like The Sun Going Down On Meeeee

Yes there is no sadder sight today than the faces of  Leos. We feel the sun's departure from our sign. We are lethargic, melancholy, blah. Blah Blah Blah. The moon's fullness helped a bit the last couple of nights but now we are just deflated. Bear with us friends and family because when the sun is the symbol for your expression you cannot help but be indifferent to August 22 and even though there is the hangover aka the cusp. We know better. The thrill is gone, the thrill is gone away from here.
Where are my dark shades.


Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Does This Make Me Crazy

"Everybody thinks you're crazy!"

Wow now that stopped me in my tracks. Everybody thinks I'm crazy.  Am I? Time for a little Cee Lo to go with these tears. Am I crazy because I am bossy or because I need to process my experiences.  Because a hawk flew in front of my car and I didn't brush it off like it meant nothing? Am I crazy because lying on the ground looking up at the clouds is a form of therapy for me. Or because I know how to stop the merry go round without to much damage to my knees. Does this make me crazy?
Possibly.
But Probably Not.
It makes me, me.

Monday, August 19, 2013

It Is Today

http://thesoulgarden.tumblr.com/post/58752115729/i-always-knew-i-would-end-up-here-but-yesterday-i

Saturday, August 17, 2013

For My Sons and Daughters Whose Father Went Away

Today is my son's birthday. He was a great kid and is a good man. Today I was thinking about the absence of fathers and wondering if there were some way to offer another explanation of why fathers leave. One that places no blame, one that relieves pain, one that absolves shame and explains-why fathers leave....

A Father's Calling
by Oye'

I think perhaps
it may very well be so.
A father's calling
is sometimes to go.

To make his small offering
to your miraculous start
then to leave mother alone
to nurture your heart.

His voyage may take him
to parts unknown
or douse him in drink or
another woman's home.

His scent you may have caught
from reminences told.
His trail may be blocked
by her love grown cold
.
Yes, I think perhaps
it may very well be so
A father's calling
is sometimes to go.

The why may not be
what you've always thought.
nor even what you've been
repeatedly told.

It is not your lack of goodness
whether or not you are smart
nor were or are you
a burdensome load.

Your father has done
the best that he could do.
When he lay with your mother
and they brought forth you.

I think perhaps
it may very well be so.
A father's calling
is sometimes to go.

Yes, I think, and so
perhaps it is true.
The best of your father
has been given to you.

With Love, Oye
August 17th 2013

Friday, August 16, 2013

In My Solitude

The moon is pushing forward towards full and I am along for the ride. So much is happening within me I have given up the reigns and am swirling along with abandon. Take me over the rainbow Great Mother I have my pen in hand...

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Upon My Return

During the month of July and August my life belongs to the children.  It is hectic-so much to do so little staff but we manage. We manage because we know the Bud Billiken back to school Parade &Picnic is the largest parade of its kind in America probably the world. We manage because 60,000 youth haved worked really hard for a chance to be in the limelight.  To be seen as positive hopeful and talented. In other words as children.  They are hungry for this and every year on the second Saturday in August for the past 84 years they are fed. There has been time for little else but slowly I am returning to my attention to the machinations of my life. I've been in the cave since Saturday but the half moon this turning point moon draws me out. There is produce in the garden and mums waiting to be planted. I have been away serving the children and now I am returned.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Rise and Shine

Like an ocean of diamonds I am vast, crushed to brilliance, moved by rhythm, and certain my beauty will out last the  uprisings of land mass predators.

Monday, August 5, 2013

And now the piercing rain

Oh I am drawn and quartered but good. Even knowing there could and more probably would be an opposing display of misfortune to balance the triumphant entree into my 53rd year. But really this is nearly immobilizing. Betrayal, what then is the opposite of betrayal? Loyalty!? Ohhh to appear in broad daylight clearly as one's self. To walk out into the world sans apology; open to the interpretation of the blind. A smile for the halves and the not even halves. Loyal to ones desire to be seen and to see.
Lain bare minimum, peering incredulously at left field nothing remains of the swift reversal of rules cept my disbelieving eyes and ice cold hands.
I will pay the price because it hard to stop rebels who time travel.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

On The Third Day She Wrote

I was born on the day after the midpoint between Summer and Autumn. First Fruits is the language I use to reference this auspicious marker on the wheel of the year.
It is sensual abundant and reveals the first manifestations of the havest season. It also shows where radical changes of course may be required. I love this opportunity to begin again or to fertilize what is growing. I chose my attire and my entertainment as ways to express my consciousness.  And so off to The Baton with my two T's Tracy and Trina to watch Blurred Lines Extraordinaire and revel in The Mystique of The Stage
Now on the 3rd day I am writing
  down my observations, celebrating my difficult decisions, revisiting my past and pursuing my future with clear focus and enthusiasm.  Oh and also on the third day playing with my toys I got for my birthday.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Happy Birthday To Me

Well its almost that time...the anniversary of my birth...feeling self contained, like a grown womyn, confident, comfortable,  and cool azz hell. I'm speaking tomorrow for the first time as Parade Director to the participants and sponsors. Later I will join my niece and daughters for a night of burlesque type fun and honoring each other as grown womyn. Saving the rest of the night for my knight in shining armor.
I am covered in the Love
I am keeper of the blood
I am daughter of the Queen
I am the weaver of dreams
I am the keeper of their screams                          I write the words that bring relief                          I forgive my enemies.                                             I believe in several things                                      And nowI lift my voice and sing                 Happy Birthday to me

First Fruits A Harvest Tale

Here I am in the mid point between Summer and Autumn and well so are you. We are Well beyond the first half of the year you and. 8th month 4 more to go but I pause here to honor the mid point the first harvest of the due season. It is also my Birthday tomorrow and I am sure it will bring me joy it already has and it always does. I find myself keeping my  childlike exuberance contained within my beingness.  I am unable to share the smoldering fire in my belly. But it is there smoldering nonetheless and my harvest is a quiet motherlode. It is the culmination of a ten year journey. It is a year of being primed; of witnessing; of seeing more clearly the unseen.  There is more to be revealed....

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Soul Work @budbillikenparade

My work is exhausting this time of year. My days stretch long into the night. There are people to placate, papers to file, decisions to make and on and on. Every year I say its my last. And it would be if not for the faces of the people who come every year looking to be dazzled,  affirmed, and connected to something greater. They know the best of this parade is essentially their own presence.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Up In Smoke

It is uncomfortable but not unbearable.  I am agreeing to be in the space of withdrawal.  I am not focusing on the outcome I am instead being in the moment. I used the portal from yesterday's alignment to release my 35 year addiction to nicotine.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

A Two Year Old's Birthday and an Old Woman's Funeral

I went to a funeral this morning. I drove into the city and went to the funeral of my mother's best friend. I went to a birthday party this afternoon. I drove back from the city and went to the birthday party of my grandson. Now I am home thinking of how to make this life of mine a joy, an offering, a symphony, a manifesto, a story, a poem, a gift...I googled pictures of life and death and came across this video. Its 40 seconds long and the main thing I found after viewing it several times is this-
All that I've been and all that I'll be, pales in comparison to this very moment. My fingers pressing keys on a board moving the invisible to visibility, thought to word, feeling to expression is the best of who I am right now. And it is enough

Friday, July 26, 2013

Murky Waters


All these planets in water, the heavy deep full moon, Neptune Rules Still...My dream last night could only have come from the deep... my mysterious primordial portion of the collective psyche.
The heaviness of the day, the rain, the dream, messengers all.
 I am cloaked in murky water. I am strong and I am capable of delving deeper into the dark than I have wanted to believe. Somehow knowing there is power here from which I shall not run. 

Thursday, July 25, 2013

The courage to be, see and set free

If I were a biographer I would write of Winnie Mandela...let her courage, commitment and passion not be lost and as you think of Winnie conjure up the visions of other great womyn of courage passion and abundant generosity...including your mother, my mother and her mother and their mothers. This will infuse you with the energy of the current and coming alignments...but you already intuit, sense and know this deep in your being don't you

 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Hollercry

It was a routine task, making myself a late afternoon cup of tea. I'm not sure what hit me but when it did I hollercried. You know what hollercry is, right? Its when something strikes you as a realization that you are somewhere you once believed was impossible and you feel both the feeling of when you felt it was impossible and the feeling of enjoying it at the same time. It makes you hollercry and you hold your hands up because you feel held up by the enormity of your ability to survive and you turn right to left then left to right because you have lost your sense of direction, time and place. The holler helps you ground and the tears, well the tears keep the miracles moist. The video above is from the last eclipse series but I bet you can find something here that may even make you hollercry.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Full Moon Promises

A Note To Self

1. You can't burn out if you've never been on fire
2. Anything we love can be saved
3. Lift every voice and sing
4. Life is a song worth singing
5. You can't keep a good womyn down
6. Night Owl Power


Sunday, July 21, 2013

Its A Tough Job But...

Well I can sense an ending to my travails at least for this initiation...It was revealing and difficult and appropriate.  In my discernment of others deceptive expressions I also saw my own. In my need to have others treat me a certain way I also saw my own self neglect. Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all and sometimes the last one you find. Perhaps that's what makes it so great it is hard won and deeply deserved.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

I'm Fine As Long As I Don't Speak To Anyone

And so the day ends with a long salt sage milk bath and a bit of peace. Not that I didn't lose my temper-I did. But I found it quickly and put it back in the box. Even with the slip I feel wider and more sure than ever this cycle that  All is well and well indeed.

Poetry Trees and Me

MARY OLIVER
The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice----though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations, though their melancholy was terrible.
It was already late enough, and a wild night, and the road full of fallen branches and stones.
But little by little, as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,and there was a new voice which you slowly recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world
determined to do
the only thing you could do----determined to save
the only life you could save.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Hello Anybody Out There?

I, try as I might, am unable to escape this energy. I keep bumping into misunderstandings, folk pushing past the boundaries,  and my own natural inclination to express myself. Be still I say to myself for the fourth time today. This is a double Leo's prison. Well at least I'm wearing bright orange. Roar

Ohhh now I get it!

Struggling with Neptune dancing with Neptune I have finally figured it out I'm parked in the driveway of the South Suburban Council on Alcoholism and substance abuse. It is Bridge today and that's when former treatment residents come to speak to current treatment residents and so I am finally at home with Neptune. Peace Be Still.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

If not for the music

Brought to quiet and a milk and salt bath by the sleights of hand, lethargic excuses, and reruns of sad ass stories that have lost their sadness.
Day 2 Neptune Rules :{
I'm thinking Bobby Blue Bland

I guess I'll make love under this Grand Ole Trine

Good Morning!! Don't get used to it though, I rarely do much morningspeak. But last night I spent some time soaking in the vibrations of the beautiful waxing moon. Feeling the nuances of the Grand Trine and what it meant to me. And I can truly say it has meant deep sleep for which I am deeply grateful. Sleep can be hard to come by most nights and when it does it comes like a thief in the temple. Yes yes my friends I have been shot by Prince's arrow of musicology. Didn't ask for it but there it is....

Overwhelming not so much more like innerwhelming. The planetery alignment forms a triangle but I am standing squarely in my own re-alignment. Not too concerned with babble, baubles or even babies (3 grandkids). I vaguely remember feeling this way years ago. Perhaps it was in 2001-02 when the heavens were in similar formation. It was Macy Gray's CD "On How Life Is" and Caligula was driving me to distraction no partner needed. Not so lower third this time. Vision, Voice, Wisdom and Confidence seem to have replaced the final four of the last decade, Reputation, Power, Money, and Sex. But even though the theme has change the sensual experience of my shift has not-I can hear my soul sing Until The End Of Time I'll Be There For You and my spirit croons You Don't Have To Be Beautiful To Turn Me On

It feels good, yeah

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Friends Followers or Like Minded Souls

Facebook is cool I really like Facebook but it has occurred to me under this Grand Trine that the time has come to create my own space. 
To plant myself, set down roots and grow. 
So this is it. Welcome To Bevworld.
Its what I think, what I've learned, uncovered, studied, believed, found out, overheard, created, its my stuff. Might be yours too...stick around some say I change like the wind I just think its takes several personalities to express myself. stopping by hope you stop through again sometime.